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Sunday, April 23, 2017

45 ways to annoy my Mother

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So, my mother, probably the most sweetest creature on Earth, and the one I annoy the most asked me how do I manage to get on her nerves all the time. Being the obedient lady that I am; I made a list!! A few of which I am a pro at and some which I would be trying out soon. (P.S. Attempt at your own risk, no responsibility will be taken for what follows)

45 ways to annoy my Mother


1. Offer to make one meal for the day. Procrastinate. Then back out.
2. Keep your feet on floor while its still wet.
3. Do not fold clothes when asked to.
4. Lights : On! Lights : Off! Repeat once. Repeat twice. Claim to not know when asked.
5. Hide the TV Remote.
6. Seize being an adult. Claim that you are an year old baby need to sleep all day.
7. Repeat everything she says.
8. Walk into room. Scream. Leave. Don’t provide explanation.
9. Talk to your imaginary friend.
10. Pretend to be asleep every time she tries to talk to you.
11. Walk/Run into random furniture. Claim that Furniture have been plotting against you.
12. Have a nervous breakdown regarding the color of your bedroom walls.
13. Watch the same movie on repeat mode with really loud volume.
14. Have a fight with yourself.
15. When asked to fetch a glass of water. State all the benefits of walking and how 
her health is more important so you are going to let her walk and get her own 
glass of water.
16. Try to eat non-moving non-living objects and then declare how pathetic they taste 
and probably need some ketchup or salt added.
17. Hide in the closet. Tell that you are trying to find the exit to Narnia.
18. Ask after every one minute, are we there yet?
19. Ask all sorts of dumb questions.
20. While having dinner. Take a bite. Stand up. Dance. Sit. Take a bit. Stand up. Dance. Sit. 
Repeat.
21. Pretend your finger is glued to your face and you cannot remove it.
22. Make up stories of your past birth and claim to know the future of this planet.
23. Speak gibberish. Pretend it is actual language you learned. Ask your friend to join in.
24. Eat your hair.
25. When shopping, point at everything and say, “I want that. Can I have that."
26. For every sentence say, Yes but no. No but yes. Yes but  no.
27. When asked to call someone. Just yell there name and say the person is probably 
sleeping as they did not hear you call.
28. Just stare at her.
29. Follow her everywhere and not say a word when asked why.
30. Change timing on all the clocks and pretend you can time travel.
31. When yelled at for being on phone a lot. Keep the phone down and start yelling 
at phone for getting you in trouble.
32. Tell her you miss her after every 5 minutes.
33. Pretend you are Dragon.
34. Eat everything that you can find. Everything!
35. Jump and hop everywhere.
36. Pretend to be a robot.
37. Pretend to be a slave and reply with "yes master" "no mater."
38. Pretend that you have lost your memory and do not recognize anyone.
39. Try to convince her that you are adopted.
40. Stand in kitchen and eat everything that she tries to cook and ask for more 
immediately.
41. Speak on your phone as if you are a secret agent and claim to talk later as 
someone is listening over.
42. Mute her favorite TV show and guess everything that is happening.
43. Ask her to cook something which has exact amount of ingredients. Make her 
take out her measuring spoons to be sure.
44. Ask her for your school uniform because there are so many memories associated 
with it. Insist.
45. Remind her that you love her - every 3 minutes!

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