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Sunday, March 05, 2017

Oh My Dear Sleep !!


The idea of perfect sleep in a myth. Enough of rants on girlfriend and boyfriend, sleep is true love and certainly needs its very own rant. However, this is one true love denied to many. Waking up in the morning, at times, is not an issue; the problem is sleeping at night. Whoever says sleep comes easy has never experienced the sheer reality of life. Oh! The social pressure of ‘early to bed, early to rise’ when you don’t sleep at all and yet wake up at the awful screech of alarm ring. Why don’t you just sleep then? I would if I could! Who would not like that?

Seen people sleep in bus, train, thru movie, at marriage functions, and what not. Jealousy breeds and multiplies for people who are capable of just falling in any damn place available and dosing of right there.

You know you suffer from this too when it takes nearly 300 positions, perfect room temperatures, no sound, multiple visits to washroom, kitchen tours, counting thousand sheep, staring into blank places, imagine ghosts, 5 minutes look outside window to see moon and try to find visible stars, think over every possible bad decisions ever made, search Google with these symptoms only to find out that two weeks of life is left for you and after all this the sleep received is just for sake of it which is disturbed within an hour or two. 

At the rarest of rare instances, when God is in utmost mood to shower his entire attention and blessing, sleep does dawn early (read midnight) but the smile is not there to stay because waking up in between for no accurate reason whatsoever is inevitable and then sleep never shows itself again. One might think getting very less sleep for the day will result in a peaceful sleep later in the night – This! This right here is the biggest scam in history, the impossible!

After a very tiring day, craving for comfortable bed and along with assumption that sleep is found as soon as there is a bed at sight – Never happens! All that is accomplished during this time is being on bed with eyes closed, not really awake nor really asleep – the cruel, evil world in between.

And seriously, one question which almost everyone seems to need an answer to is “So what actually do you do so late at night?” and apparently ‘nothing’ does not seem to satisfy these curious bugs. If you really must know this is the most perfect time to catch up with Facebook news feed, go over Instagram posts, read all those saved articles which keep increasing day by day, read books, read magazines, read newspaper, read back of a cereal box, read anything actually, log in to Quora and try to answer every question there is, update your future plans by pinning on Pinterest, draw random things, record yourself while singing (delete immediately for the scary voice that you have),  stalking random people on social media, take time to check reviews of those short films on YouTube only to watch them later, mark check on the most terrifying must watch horror movies for the year, write blogs (like this one), learn about aliens, UFO’s, history, geography, astronomy, discovery channel documentaries, or go the old way and watch television while munching on chips, listen to some music on those late night radio shows, spend time with pets.

So, when does this magical thing called as sleep actually grabs hold of eyes? The exact times and situations where sleeping is absolutely the last option you can find. During those office meetings, when there is tons of procrastinated work sitting on desk screaming to get done, when amidst relatives jabbering about future and life, on those oh-so important mandatory to attend conference calls, when better half is wide awake trying to get serious conversation started, early mornings when alarm is just 1 hours away from going off, during lectures of most important topic in syllabus, when logged in on webinars, waiting for turn at interview, to sum it all up literally anything and everything that has a basic requirement of being in mentally present state.

There is no longer a sleeping pattern anymore. It basically is just sleep whenever you want at the most random times. After going thru this, entire world is expected to be a sympathetic place but for some reason it just turns out to be pathetic. Neither night owl, nor early bird – forever doomed in the world in between – a condition which does not even have a name yet!  It is either an entire day in bed trying to catch up with sleep and get called as lazy or get cursed for being up so early while everybody else is still cozily tucked in to bed – there is no in between.

The difficulty level of this ruthless game of searching for perfect sleep still continues to increase over time – all the best to all of us to come out victorious! May the odds be forever in our favor! (If you know what I mean) 

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