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Sunday, May 15, 2016

Promise Me

I have lived my life collecting quotes, building my fairy tales, swearing by them and then dreaming them. Every love quote I read, every cute couple picture I see, every dream I have, every time I breathe; it is all you. My life revolves and rotates around you.

Tell me you will not think about me. You will not revisit the moments we spent together. You will not secretly wait for those goodnight texts and wake up hoping that at the least this morning begins with my message as it used to earlier.

Tell me you will not think about me when you see a couple holding hands while crossing the roads, because you know I would never let go of your hand if we were crossing. Tell me you will not think about me when you see a girl too scared to cross, or when you teach your own daughter to walk.

Tell me you will not visit our favorite CafĂ© and place an order of Oreo Milkshake. Let the Oreo’s mean nothing more than biscuits to you henceforth. You will forget my untimely cravings for them and for that matter for Pista Kulfi as well.

Tell me that you can look at Twins without thinking about our jokes or remembering the names we came up with. You will not be reminded of me or the twins when you feel like eating Vanilla ice cream. They are mine and I take them with me. 

Tell me you will not be afraid to love again. You will get the girl you deserve, far much better than me. Someone who will give you the best of world. Someone who will mean as much to you as you mean to me.

Tell me you will not compare “her” with me. She will love you in her own way. She will give you the happiness which you would have never ever imagined. Don’t you dare then compare her cuddles to mine and for no one else will fit into your arms as perfectly as me. Give her time; give her all that you can. Stand by her. Never let her be alone.  

Tell me pillow fights will mean nothing to you and neither will play flights. For no one will manage to wiggle out your arms like me, nor will anyone tickle you the way I did.

Tell me your coffee will not remind you of the color of my eye. I remember you staring into them and saying “I can see myself in your eyes” Now use a mirror instead. See the world they way you want to see it and forget that once I held your hand to show you the future as I had then seen.

Tell me you will look at the moon and stars and it will mean nothing more than a mere night sky. You will not remember how I used to follow the moon around nor how I used to ask you to see the faces it turned into, nor will you remember my frown when I could not spot it. Forget the crazy squeaky noise which I made when I could actually manage to spot some stars.

Tell me the sun will not torture you daily for you know how I react. You will forget how I did hide from the rays or how anything and everything became my shade. Forget how I would ask you to block the sun out and how you did it, at times, without even asking for it.

Tell me your hands would no longer automatically block my “so-called” accidents on speed bumps or while walking besides me. You will not long for that one moment when you did just get to feel the touch of me again.

Tell me you will forget the way I kissed, the way I hugged, the way I smelled. You will not go looking for them for they won’t be the same even in the dreams, neither will you crave for my hand moving across your face.

Tell me you will find motivation elsewhere. You will only remember how proud I have been of all your little achievements and that I would never ever give up on you. You will find motivation in all the things I have said. You will only see the positive of it because I say.

Tell me you will not miss our silly fights for no one will be a bigger “nautanki” than me. Those stupid fights on why you spoke to her or why have you not replied or where are you and when will you meet me, will no longer make any sense.

Tell me books and reading will not be associated with me and neither should be writing. You will not stalk me on Facebook nor visit my blogs to know my whereabouts or whatgoingons. Those Instagram tags and link shares will no longer hold any relevance.

Tell me window seats are yours to claim now for no one will ask you to move from there, nor will you have to see me pretend to be angry even though both of us knew you would eventually move and give me that place. You will not have to make any more sacrifices over there.

Tell me the joint were we had wada pav and nimbu pani will never be visited by you and you would not be tempted to walk down the roads which we always took. You would not dread going to movies and not having me in the seat beside you.

Tell me train travels will remain the same, for you will not remember my head on your shoulder always. You will forget how peacefully I slept and how the insomnia seems to melt away to take me off to a world which never existed.

Tell me our pictures will be deleted. Chat messages too. You will destroy every ounce of evidence that would otherwise connected me to you.

Tell me my trademarked words are safe with you and no one would ever know what they meant and hey! you still do not get the royalties to use them. 

Tell me there will not be tears in your eyes as you read this even though I write this teary eyed. 

Tell me you will willingly, happily see me off. Wave a good bye.  

I love you. Still do. More than words put together. But, promise me I will be no one to you not even a memory.


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